A Tribute
Gosh.
Taking the time to sit still to contemplate my life and put it into a blog has become a daunting task. I guess I was somewhat hoping that we all would be out of the fog and the heaviness would be lifted in the new year.
I’ve never felt good about wallowing in darkness but as I’ve gotten older I’ve recognized the importance of being honest with myself. With this blog, transparency is key and so that honesty extends to you.
I do want to offer a note before you proceed. I cherish the connections I’ve been able to make with so many of you. In this post, I take time to honor loved ones both lost and that I am losing. If your heart is heavy as you read this, I understand setting it aside and returning to it at another time. Taking care of ourselves is important and I hope my grief and love expressed in this entry can find you at a time when you’re ready.
My Friend: Lisa Moody
A picture of our friend Robin (left) and Lisa Moody (right) from James and my wedding.
Back in October my dear sweet talented girlfriend Lisa Moody unexpectedly passed away.
I was able to travel to Baltimore for her friends and family memorial and I honored her with a few words from my heart. It would mean the world to me to share them with you here:
They say time heals all wounds, but I must say there are days I reach out to call her on the phone and am deeply saddened that she is no longer with us.
My Gentleman: Mr. Cat
The three amigos.
In December we said goodbye to our beloved cat, Mr. Cat.
He and James came together as a packaged deal. He was such a bright light in our lives and we treated him like our baby! He was the most lovable cat I have ever known and we still miss him terribly. We were happy to donate all of his cat belongings (A full SUV’s worth) to Peggy Adams Animal Rescue. We know one day when the time is right another animal will come into our lives.
R.I.P. Mr. Cat.
My Hero: My Mother
The hardest bit of life is that my dear Mom is in-home hospice. She is being cared for by her amazing wife/my stepmom Monte and a team of doctors and nurses. I traveled to Baltimore recently to spend the day with Mom.
Her spirits were up and we enjoyed the day together in each other's company. I am incredibly grateful for all the visits and care from friends and family. There are no words I have for the immense strength Monte has.
Light on the Horizon
If anyone is watching “And Just Like That”, the newest season of “Sex In The City”, you’ll know in one of the more recent episodes the character Carrie is struggling writing a “happy ending” for her latest book. I’m amazed at how throughout the years this tv show has touched on key notes in my life.
In writing this blog it is my routine to write the first draft, sleep on it, and then edit and add the following day. I woke up this morning feeling like I needed a happy ending.
My daily meditation led me to this: Healing Through Letting Go
In this loss I find that I am grateful for the pillars holding me up: My husband, my friends, and the ability to express myself in my artwork.
I continue to create and find the time in my studio, a welcoming place to spend my days and connect me to purpose and a sense of a higher power. Lately I’ve been working on some new custom kaftans which have given me a place to express myself and find joy in the little things.
The support of family, friends, and the clients who allow me to express myself and push my art mean the world to me.
Compassion for loss. Gratitude for love. Awareness of how lucky we are to know one another.
- Amanda J.